burnedwolf | post finale shenanigans with drawnhere

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post finale shenanigans with drawnhere

[Peter grumbles as he feels his throat ache from shouting. The wolfsbane in his veins is too thick, it stopped even the smallest healing and it just makes him feel even more miserable. The glass is hard against his shoulder as he's heavily leaning against it, with crossed arms, staring into one of the corners of his cell. Which he has to share. But Peter knows better than to look at the guy directly again. It's not that he's afraid... really. It's just he's drugged and can't heal and feel as weak as when he crawled back from the grave and he's locked together with someone like THAT. It's annoyance and not fear, really.

He sighs, his head is heavy from whatever drugs they used on him, his senses are dulled and his whole body feels like someone else's. On top of that he is still a damn disgrace without being called an Alpha. Great day.]

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[So many things happened so quickly. Jordan listens to Chris on the drive down to Mexico, how Peter was working with Kate the whole time, that his mate pinned Chris there to the wall and intends to kill Scott McCall to steal his power. All the ugly things everyone tried to warn him about were true after all.

He loved a monster.

He comes to Eichen house to settle things, to talk to him and see what he has to say for himself. The doctor warns him to be careful of the other occupant in the cell. Jordan makes sure he doesn't look at him but only at Peter.]

Peter, can you hear me?

[The voice reaches him distantly, but Peter can still make out who it is. He'd recognize that voice amongst a thousand. And he really hopes he is just hallucinating this time. He doesn't want to deal with this. Not like this. It wasn't supposed to go like this. He's supposed to be powerful, the Hale Alpha and not a patient.

But his head moves without him really giving it permission, looking at Jordan with half closed eyes, barely seeing him. His forehead bumps into the glass.]

Crystal clear.

They tell me you're going to be in here forever.

[Jordan doesn't like how his voice catches a little. He feels so stupid for loving and trusting him. The bond hurts now, a weight on his shoulders.]

Why did you do it? Why would you want these kids dead?

I'm not gonna be here forever... [Peter chuckles, his tongue is slow, barely articulating the words.] Just until I die, most prob'ly.

[At this point he knows it's not a hallucination. He can feel it. All that regret and pain from his mate and it makes his body even more heavy. Peter bears himself against the glass with one hand, looking away from Jordan.]

I want one particular one dead. And he's not a kid, Jordan, he's not a kid, he's an Alpha. A true Alpha and he's not supposed to be. It should be me. It's my right as a Hale. [He rambles, hissing shaking his head in his daze, his anger hitting him again as he's thinking about Scott and every damn thing about him.] You weren't supposed to be there...

You've been lying to me about so much, this whole time.

[That hurts a lot. Peter lied to him, his mate lied to him about everything just for power.]

I was there because I followed you. I saw what you did to Chris Argent. He told me all you had done. He's a kid, Peter, a kid. I don't understand this. Did you think I would be okay with it?

I didn't lie... about anything. [Peter hisses, pressing his forehead against the glass and it hurts and it's still better than that awful stone in his chest.] You never asked and I never told you.

Chris Argent, I should have known. A talkative one isn't he. [He laughs sourly. The hunter, right. He should have really get rid of him when he had the chance... even if it would have made things worse.]

Scott's an usurper! A Beta of mine and he has no right to be Alpha with that overly moral attitude, it's not what an Alpha is! [He shouts suddenly, raising his clouded eyes at Jordan again. And he shouldn't have done that, because he faces something he's not ready so Peter looks away quickly and continued his rambling.] Yes. Because I was supposed to get powerful for you, for us. So no one can hurt us anymore and because you love me.

Because you knew I wouldn't approve!

[He steps up to the glass, lowering his voice so Peter's cellmate won't hear them. He wishes they could be alone because this is very personal. He can't shake the feeling of being betrayed and foolish.]

You were already powerful. You didn't need to be an alpha for me. I was happy with you, with us, now... I don't know. I don't know about this bond, about you.

[It kills him to say that because he did love Peter. For a time there, he was so happy planning out their lives together. If he had known that Peter was doing this, planning these things. It hurts.]

[Peter just snarls, not really answering. Maybe he knew. That Jordan would never approve. Of course, somewhere deep down he knew and he still went for it.]

[Though as Jordan moves closer and speaks Peter feels his body going numb from other than the drugs. He can feel that sharp pain in his chest what is only just a part of what Jordan must feel right now and it makes him weak. And not just that, but what his mate is saying.] No... Oh no, no, no, 'M not gonna lose it all again because of that brat, I'm not gonna lose you too, you can't do this...

[His thoughts are getting scrambled and his temples are aching with a headache that is too familiar. Peter presses his palms against the glass and tries to focus on Jordan to see him. Since maybe it's he last time.]

You're willing to kill a seventeen year old boy just for power. How do you think I can be with you after that? The deadpool wasn't your fault but all this? This is and you know I would've tried to stop you if I had known.

[Jordan aches, aches so much because of this. He loves Peter, even though all of this hurts him and pisses him off.]

I overlooked what you did to the Mute. I let it go. Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe it should've been a warning sign but damn it, I thought I found my happily ever after. God, I was idiot.

[Peter feels his anger and feels his mate's pain and it makes him even more pissed off. But his body is not doing as he says, and he can also feel the mountain ash barrier and all the other things that prevents him to hurt the glass even more than just hitting it with a weak fist.]

Without power we're nothing, Jordan, can't you see? And power with someone who's incompetent for it is a waste! Scott doesn't have any right to possess that much and I was just taking back what's mine! It's mine!

[Then he can't help but laugh a bit hysterical. Peter thought he found happiness too and it was just too good to be true. Maybe that's why he messed up, maybe he just couldn't believe that someone would genuinely, really wanting to be with him for the rest of their lives. It was scary.] They told you everything about me and you even saw what I'm capable of and you still stayed, of course you're an idiot. You stayed and you insisted on loving me despite all what you heard... And now it's all my fault.

No, Peter, we had everything. We didn't need power. No one else is responsible for this, just you. We didn't need anything else in the world, we had each other.

[The worst part was he knew Peter loved him. He knew they loved each other and were honestly happy together. He let that blind him to the ugly side of Peter. He was stupid on purpose.]

I thought... I thought you weren't like that anymore. I thought you were happy and content with just me, just us and our life. I didn't think we needed power.

[Peter shakes his head. He knows Jordan is right. He knows. And Peter wants him to shout, to call him names, because this is worse... It actually hurts.]

I can't lose it all again and I need power for it. Otherwise how I can be sure some hunter or a different pack won't hunt us down? I didn't want to be prey again when I could be a predator. How can we be truly happy if we're not safe?

[He looks to the side, at his cellmate before he continues. He hates this... to not being able to break up with his mate, with probably the love of his life in private.]

I'm terrified out of my mind all the time, especially since I'm with you. I just wanted us to be safe.

Because we had each other to keep each other safe. Because we had more power together, we had plenty together.

[They had everything together. Jordan knows they've lost so much and it hurts to give it up, it hurts to lose it.]

Killing Scott wouldn't have made us safe. Having alpha powers wouldn't make us safe. Safety is an illusion and we both know it. Would you have felt safe for long? How long would it have been before the killing started again?

But it wasn't enough!

[Peter wishes Scott would have killed him back in Mexico. So he wouldn't have to feel this way, and deal with his mate. Yes, it's a coward's way, but when he was ever a hero... Peter claws at the glass in a vain attempt to try and touch Jordan. He can barely see him, he can't smell him at all, or anything for that matter and maybe it's better this way and yet Peter can't help to try and reach out.]

It would have. I would have taken back my family's heritage and show the world that we're invincible and yes, I'd have killed anyone who ever threaten us. I'd never let anyone burn us again, I'd have made you happy and proud, Jordan, to be my mate, my family...

[Like the fool he is Jordan puts his hand to the glass. He can't comfort Peter. He can't make it easier either. He has to do this. He can't be with someone so comfortable and casual about killing especially innocent people.]

I was happy. I was proud. I was proud when I thought you weren't killing or planning to kill. I thought you were better than that. I thought everyone was wrong. That was the life and pack I wanted. I don't want this. I don't want death and killing.

[Peter's breathing picks up as Jordan speaks, his fingertips pressing desperately to the glass to be able to feel at least the warmth of the other, but it's all in vain. His mate is going to leave and he can't do anything, he already messed up. Big time. He knew that Jordan was fine with him, that he trusted him and was loyal to him and it really should have been all Peter needed... yet, he still wanted more.]

I'm not better. [Peter laughs a bit hysterical again, bumping his forehead against the glass. He's dizzy and he feels like he's going to fall apart once again. Just like after the fire. He wonders if it's the drugs or his own insanity.] You're gonna leave?

You aren't even going to try? I'm not worth trying for? [Jordan feels sick. Peter won't even fight for him.] You don't have to kill people for power. You don't need it! Damn it, Peter, why can't you even think about it?

[He pounds a fist against the glass, angry and aching. He has to say goodbye to his love. He can't do anything else. His morals don't allow for it. His job won't allow for it.]

You worth everything. [Peter whispers before he can stop himself. He leans back a little, eying his mate. Then he looks down, wobbling a little.] You worth it all and I- [Peter isn't sure he has it all. He thought safety and power would make him keep Jordan, because really what else they could need. And now he has nothing and Jordan demands something Peter thinks he never had. He doesn't think he's brave enough for this and it terrifies him.]

I tried to think about it, I did! But I saw how it turned out, Jordan, I was there. My sister was the same and they thought we're safe, but we weren't...!

All I wan'ed was to have a family I can protect... I promised two things to myself: to take revenge and to never let them hurt us again no matter the cost. [He killed his niece for this. He hurt Derek for this. And now he's hurting Jordan for it and Peter can see a vicious circle. He did everything for family and he hurt them, thinking it's for their benefit and he got greedy and obsessed in the process. He can't look at his mate anymore.] I was doing it all for you.

Maybe that's what you told yourself but you didn't do it for me. [Jordan lets his hand fall from the glass and looks down at his feet. He was so blind, so enraptured by love and lust and happiness that he didn't look closely enough at the man he was in love with. It still hurts that he has to do this.]

Peter, I don't know if they'll ever let you out of here. I can't fight for your release as long as you keep thinking what you did, what you planned was right. If you can do that, if you can try to change... I'll try to help you. [Whether he'd let himself love Peter again, he didn't know. It hurts too much right now for him to think about.] But you've got a lot to answer for. I might not be able to do anything.

[Peter can feel Jordan's dilemma. And he can feel his love and loyalty wavers and it's tearing him up in ways he never imagined. It hurts more than burns or loneliness, knowing there is no one else to blame. He doesn't like this.]

No, no, take me home... [He breathes, feeling his body getting weaker. He can't promise anything he's too terrified, his head is a mess and their bond is like a damn chainsaw in his chest and the weaker it gets the more it hurts. They ask him to change what he is, they will look at him with distrust even if he swears he will change, of course they will and he'd still be just a weak, abandoned Omega.] Just take me home.

I can't, Peter. I can't. [Jordan feels his heart getting ripped out of his chest and getting smashed into piece. He wants to take Peter home, he does, and see if he can save Peter himself. Though if his love was enough before they wouldn't be here.]

I'll come visit when I can, I promise. [He shouldn't. He should cut ties completely and get Peter out of his life before he's dragged down with him but he can't abandon his mate. He just can't.] Try for me, Peter, please.

[Peter closes his eyes and laughs, but it's not happy at all. Mostly hysteric, still.] I really just want to go home.

[He repeats, rubbing his forehead against the glass. It's almost ironic that when he finally has a place he can call home he can't go. Because he messed up. He's messed up. But he isn't... he was just too obsessed. Right...?]

I really... [He laughs again, opening his eyes. He should tell Jordan to leave him. To never come. To just abandon this all while he can, but Peter can't do that. He's too selfish and he doesn't want to lose it all again. Though, he won't stop Jordan if he wants to leave... if he won't visit again.] I promise... if you promise to come back.

I'll come back in a few weeks to see how you're doing. Please don't let me down.

[He won't be able to take it if Peter lets him down again. He'll have to end it to save himself from too much heartache. There's only so much disappointment he can handle.

He steps away from the glass, taking another. It's hard to leave Peter here, almost impossible but he has to. Peter left him no choice.]

A few weeks? [Peter's voice is too desperate for his liking, his limbs go numb with cold fear. He can't do this and watching Jordan just move away is not something he wants to see. Their bond is getting weaker even and it leaves Peter breathless once again.] No, I can't wait that long...

Stay! Talk to me, tell me something...! [His fingers bump into the glass as he's trying to get a hold of his mate, but of course he can't. He hears laughter and he's not sure if it's his cellmate or it's in his head anymore. He has a hard time believing any of this is happening.]

It's not safe for me to be around your cellmate. [He jerks his chin at the man who is ignoring them both. Jordan's taken a huge risk by coming in here. He doesn't know if Peter understands that but he has to be careful. He can't stay around without risking becoming a victim.]

I really did love you. [He shouldn't tell Peter that. Peter doesn't need any more pain but maybe this will help. Maybe it will give him hope.] There's got to be something in you that can do this, can do better.

[Peter frowns, shaking his head. Of course he understands... and there is the nagging feeling of shielding Jordan from that other monster, but he can barely move his body.]

I know. [He sighs. And he did know, because every time Jordan said those words his heartbeat was steady and Peter could never understand how someone can honestly say those words to him. And it does hurt. He doesn't answer, because he doesn't know if he can really do this. Maybe he can't.

Peter wants to shout again at Jordan to stay and just talk to him. About anything, about what he's going to eat tomorrow, about the weather, or how he's going to sleep now, or if Jordan will ever come back, because promises are not like they used to be... But he forces himself to stay silent.]

Please, please, Peter don't hurt me like this again. I'll see if I can send you something until I can visit again.

[He needs to stop this, end the relationship but he can't. It hurts too much. He'll send Peter a shirt or a sweatshirt, something so he could have his scent. He'd have to figure out what to do with Peter's things, if he could part with them.]

Please take care of yourself.

Would that help me? [Peter can't help but ask in a bitter laugh. He wants to say he's not going to hurt Jordan again, no matter what, but can he really? Apparently, the Hale curse where all he can do is to be a major disappointment has reached him too. Or he already had it.

Peter looks at Jordan and really wishing he could at least smell him for one last time.]

You too... be safe.

[Jordan bites his lip, watching Peter with regret and bittersweet love. He hates this so much. He clearly doesn't want to say goodbye but he turns away and goes home, leaving his love and his mate behind.]

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